The Worm Has Turned

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*-TOO MUCH INFORMATION

I saw BigRed at Wal-Mart last Wednesday. Why the hell can't I get the overwrite to turn off, christ how fucking annoying.

You might remember (or not...whatever)
six months ago I had some nasty words with her. Mostly on my part, but it's not like I hadn't been provoked for months. Because I had. I still wasn't ready to see, even in passing... even if I'd been expecting it, which I sure as hell wasn't.

I don't think she saw me, even though I had to walk right past her. My hair is different, I've gained weight, my coat is very different, I was walking quickly and looking straight ahead and had my sunglasses on. But it made me nauseous and threw off the rest of my day. I still feel unsettled and irrationally angry.

I want a cigarette. I want it, I want it, I WANT IT. And chocolate. A lot of chocolate. I won't be getting those things. But I want them!!

In typical bipolar fashion I'm simultaneously relieved and annoyed that I didn't hear through the grapevine that she'd seen me. She didn't e-mail StarWarsGuy or anybody else. Well, maybe she didn't see me. And that pisses me off too...I mean if my week of rest is going to be tampered with by fate it would be nice if I wasn't the only one who's nerves were rattled.

That is petty. Very petty.

What the fuck is the deal with my fucking overwrite being fucking stuck?