The Worm Has Turned

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Check it:

Minnesota bar beats smoking ban

HA! The theatre of life. Eh?

Really, though I understand why it was done (smoking is bad for the health and bars are often crowded, etc.)...the ban I mean...it's just...weird.

It's a bar. A BAR. It should, by definition, be smoky...smokey? Hazy then. Just being in a bar with friends and having a drink in my hand makes me want a cigarette. I want one now, just thinking about it.

Okay, let's change the subject. I suffer only a slight headache and bit of nausea today. 'Cause I'm a lightweight and only had two, mixed with a good amount water and lime juice. I love lime.

Now the stuff has gone into the freezer where it will sit for a good while, because it, unlike the vat of lotion I bought, really was expensive and will not be sucked down like water. Also? Carbs, carbs, carbs. They is bad.

I was once a size 24. I lost a hundred pounds and became a size ten. I'm cursed with big calves now. They carried all that weight for a LONG time and the muscles on my calves bulked up. I can't wear regular boots. I once found a perfect pair of boots at Target, perfect old series Star Trek boots to go with my Uhura costume. PERFECT I tell you, and just thirty dollars, repros will cost you a few hundred (so it's obvious I won't be getting repros). No ammount of stretching could zip these otherwise perfect boots up over my Amazonian calves.

But back to the carbs. So I was a size ten and I fucking loved it, that was the shit, buying all those funky clothes I've always wanted and being able to fit into them. Then I left my job at the coffeehouse (necessary) and ate fast food and slept too much and did no exercise for months and thirty pounds piled back on and have sat there for two goddamn years and I'm sick of being a 14 now. I still have a lot of those funky clothes, including three pairs of my beloved (expensive-ish, not too bad if you buy them on sale) Blue London Jeans, boyfriend style (bought before they started putting Spandex in EVERYThing...I hate Spandex in jeans...that's NOT RIGHT). I know carb reduction works...that's how I did it the first time. Not following Atkins, thank you, I did one of my own design.

Now I have to prepare to go to the Grove business meeting. We have to plan Ostara. Or the meal after Ostara really. We're going to a funky little coffee shop, where the java is outtasite. I applied here, trying to get away from the Bux, but I think my corporate sell-out was frowned upon, despite over two years as an assitant manager at a REAL coffeehouse before said selling of my soul. Christ, Bux is gonna blot my record forever, isn't it? The longer I work there, the more skill I'll lose, skills of a real barista. No proper coffeehouse will have me after I've worked there five more years. Which is what's going to happen...sometimes I just know these things. It's not something I feel dread or angst about really, despite my sneering. Because I just have this knowledge, that's how it's going to be and it's the proper road for me right now. The road I need to be on to get where I want to be later in life. Even though I don't actually know where I want to be, the goddess knows.

And Sulis nods silently in agreement while she lifts her skirts and wades in the river. She's glad I'm finally paying attention.

I really, really want a cigarette.

Well, getting ready will be made tres difficile, the water is being turned off by the maintenance guy. The downstairs tenant has a leak.

Yesterday I was seized by a fit of terror when my landlady's name showed up the little cell phone window. I ran in the bedroom and frantically checked my online bank records. Hadn't the rent gone through? Did I miss something and then forget? I try so hard to be organized about that kind of thing, it's too dangerous not to be. December of 2006 she threatened me with eviction and I had to borrow $1300 from my sister. My YOUNGER sister.

Ridiculous that just seeing that name at a time it's NOT supposed to be here fills me with such panic.

I didn't answer the phone of course. I felt sick checking the message. She was just letting me know about the water possibly being turned off.

So now I'm going to have a second cup of coffee and eat...something...probably a poached egg.