The Worm Has Turned

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Lord Mango

*-TOO MUCH INFORMATION

I am in a foul mood.

I don't want to be cold anymore. I'm sick of it.

I don't want to be poor anymore either. I'm really sick of that too.

I'm really tired of having to constantly shiver and never being able to buy anything without also purchasing a mega-sized portion of guilt, because do I really need it? Really? I could've done without it right? You're gonna be sorry in four months when you can't pay the rent anymore.

I ran out of lotion. I have a job that murders the skin on my hands. They're like sandpaper and sometimes the skin cracks. It hurts to wash them. Of course I do it anyway because, ew. Also, it's winter. The cold outside, the heat on inside...The heat, ha, never enough to make me FEEL warm, but always seems to be enough to suck the moisture out of most of my skin and make the inside of my nose crack...

I had a bottle of lotion, but there was barely any left. I had to be very sparing and only use it when I was really miserable. Then I ran out and I tried using some aloe vera, I had a big bottle of that from two summers ago. Didn't really do the job, as well as being incredibly sticky.

So I finally broke down and bought the cheapest lotion I could find that would still work and that wouldn't give me headaches from the smell. The winner is a 32 oz. bottle of cocoa butter lotion...with shea butter and vitamins A & E, for just $1.61. Heh, no extra charge for the classy British period feel.

I'm treating my skin to the bist of the tropics. It says so right here on the label.

And still, still I can't help regretting that I broke down and bought this. It's enormous! Do you know how much 32 oz is? You know, besides thirty-two? It's big. Bigger than most bottles of shampoo. Even with daily use it should last months. And yet I haven't used any today. Because I'm afraid I'll waste it.

Being poor fucks up your mind.

I don't think I'm ever going to feel comfortable again. I'm never going to feel safe, even if I do eventually make enough not to have to constantly worry.

I'm tired of being too tired to do anything else. Of having to force myself to go outside. I know it will get better when it warms up and I don't have to cringe everytime I go outdoors.

That's why I want it to be warm now please. I spent this whole day doing nothing, just trying to recoup energy lost working seven days straight and opening five of those days.

I'm purging, okay? I don't want any pity, thank you I have enough of my own. I just want some fucking rest.