The Worm Has Turned

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Lord Mango

*-TOO MUCH INFORMATION

Over a year of silence, now you can't shut me the fuck up. Is anyone even reading this? Never mind. In my imagination there's at least seven of you. Seven is my favorite number. It's prime. And it just looks pretty.

Is envy one of the seven (speaking of) deadly sins? I can't remember.

As I was shoveling a Volvo's width path in my thankfully very short driveway, two neighbor ladies were talking about their snow-blowers. Blissfully ignoring the prescence, just forty feet from them, of the women groaning from the Sisyphusian task of trying to move the somewhere it won't get shoved back into the path of my car by street plows or other snow-blowers or block anyone elses. Else's. Yeah.

"Oh, I'm so glad we upgraded to this bigger one last year. The old one was just too small to handle all this stuff at the bottom of the driveway."

Yeah. The part I was shoveling just at that moment. The part that's heavier and stiffer and slushier than all the rest because the street snow get melted by the salt and then plowed into it.

I hate snow-blowers. I don't really envy the woman her snow-blower. Just the ease of her life.

I received my state tax return a few days ago. And a check from my father. And my two paychecks today. It's still not nearly enough for this month's bills.

And today, as I was getting ready to go out to shovel, I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out two halves of my sunglasses. My prescription sunglasses, sometime between noon yesterday and eleven AM today, had snapped in two at the bridge. My sunglasses that keep me from getting a headache on a daily basis because my eyes are so light sensitive I have to wear them even on cloudy days, between dawn and dusk. Sometimes inside stores if they're too bright. I started crying. Actually crying. I stopped after about three or four whiny sobs because both the boys were standing in the kitchen and though they're thirteen and fifteen now it still scares them a bit to see me start crying. And I had to dig out the car, a melt down was not in the schedule

My prescription sunglasses broken, another $150 I didn't want to have to spend. Another chip out of the federal tax return, the money that was supposed to keep me out of the red for at least four months, keep me afloat in my sea of debt. How's that for cliched imagery, huh? Little by little my life raft is losing air.

So. Envy. Is it one of the seven deadly sins? And why do I even care? I'm a pagan. Druids don't hold with sin. We try to attract helpful energy. ADF promotes the nine virtues.

Of which envy is not one.

Going to work. Now. Time to make the lattes.