The Worm Has Turned

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*-TOO MUCH INFORMATION

I have been feeling extra not good, so I try not to post too much because everything gets draggy. That doesn't make any sense does it? It would be the same whingy thing over and over and I was getting tired of it, so trying not to reinforce the mindset you know?

There's purging and then there's obsessing. When I stop making observances and am merely ceaselessly whining? That's when I need to shut up for a few days. Lie low and rest. Today is a hard day, just plain old physically. After I got home from work (four to ten AM shift) I ate and had a bath and went right to bed. I read a little bit, but then the strangest sensation came over me, as if I was drugged. I felt like I had weights pressing on my chest and upper arms and thighs and my whole torso seemed to throb for several hours. But my hands and feet felt disconnected. I kept drifting in and out of sleep, but peacefully, not fitfully. I had to force myself to move my hands occasionally, I mean actually think about it to see the fingers move, to make sure they were still there. None of this frightened me. But it was very strange. What I felt mostly was relief, as if my body had tricked me into resting so I couldn't feel guilty about it.

Damn. I drank all my tea. I get either a pound of coffee or a box of tea a week at the Bux, free even. The Organic Chai tea bags are lovely. I make the wonderful spicy tea, put in a splash of half and half and a few packets of Splenda and I think it tastes much better than the chai lattes at work: chai concentrate loaded with corn syrup to sweeten it, then watered down with 200 degree water and topped off with 2% milk steamed to 170 degrees. Yeah, why I don't I just drink lava, that would tear out my throat too and have a lot fewer useless calories. It would have better body too. That corn syrup KILLS the flavor of the spices you're supposed to be tasting: ginger, pepper, black cardomom, cinammon, etc.