The Worm Has Turned

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Lord Mango

*-TOO MUCH INFORMATION

Annnnndddd...screwed on into today too.

Goddamn it how stupid is it that one stupid fucking email from one thoughtless, oblivious man can fuck up my mind so much.

I've read...I have read....that men do those things, keep email addresses and don't listen instructions of, "don't contact me," because in the back of their mind they're always hoping to keep that "option" open. That option not being a relationship, or even an actual date, just a person to have sex with.

That annoys the hell out of me, even the possibility of being thought of like that, even subconsciously. That I might be so goddamn stupid as to forget his past actions and repeat my own stupid mistakes, which caused me such horrendous pain the first two...yes, two...times. "Hey, maybe I can convince her to sleep with me a couple more times and when I want a real relationship I'll just dumnp her again. I'd better save her email, because that could totally happen."

Not. Happening.

And of course, if I call him on it, he'll just say it was an accident, he didn't mean to send it to me. Accident. Right. Okay, I want you to delete me on purpose. Like I asked you to three times.

I'm not stomping around my life like this. I'm just purging it all here.

Now I'm going to take a bath, then watch Viggo be a Russian, one of the vory v zakone. It means "thieves in the law." I'm not sure what thieves in law is supposed to mean....like honor among thieves I think. Keeping to the code, the Russian thieves code in this case. That of which has a sort of strange, poetic, barbarous ethic to it, if this Wikipedia article can be believed. I think I need to get a book.